It’s a rainy day here in New York. If someone out there has any idea where our spring got off to please drag it back here. We are sick of snow, cold and rain. Tonight’s forecast is freezing rain and snow. It’s almost the middle of April.
I shouldn’t really complain. When I was a kid, yes that was a while ago, the snow banks could still be four feet high in April. I remember that clearly. And over the years the climate has shifted away from that reality. It’s simply going back in that direction a little bit. At least that’s my thought on it. So I should shut up and enjoy spring when it shows up.
Somewhere in Pennsylvania they have a large Gopher/Groundhog/Woodchuck that comes out and make a prediction about spring every year.
I just threw all three of those animals together, thinking they were the same. Then I Googled it. Nope. Google says:
The big groundhog is about 24 times heavier than the little gopher. The animals look somewhat similar, however, with short neck, legs, and tail.
The groundhog (also known as a “woodchuck” and “whistle pig”) is a marmot – essentially, a giant North American ground squirrel. The gopher is, like the groundhog, a burrowing member of the rodent order but its closest living relatives are kangaroo rats and pocket mice.
So, let me rephrase: Somewhere in Pennsylvania they have a Groundhog/Woodchuck named Punxsutawney Phil that comes out and predicts spring. This year Phil predicted an early spring. Surprise, no early spring. This is what happens when you listen to a big ground squirrel. We don’t have that problem here because we don’t listen to ground squirrels, woodchucks/groundhogs. Here Groundhogs and Woodchucks are considered pests. (Read that target practice for any kid with a 22).
So we don’t listen to squirrels, big or otherwise. Instead we look at things a little more scientifically… Oh, wait, I just Googled that and it turns out we don’t. Instead we count the rings on fuzzy caterpillars or something. I’d still shoot the woodchuck. I think it would be best. After all, he was wrong about the early spring. There’s a kid down the road that could use a break from shooting every bird in the neighborhood. I could get him a bus ticket to Pennsylvania. If this was China he’d already have been shot.
When I was a kid I didn’t have time to shoot birds and woodchucks, I worked on an Egg farm. The next door neighbor used to take me. The farmer used to predict it on the fly. I can see the farmer of that egg farm looking up at the sky, scratching his head and saying, I think spring’s gonna be late this year. And damned if it wasn’t. This is where I use discretion (As a writer I can do that) the farmer didn’t actually scratch his head. I just thought head would sound better than what he actually did scratch. Hey, he’s a farmer, or was.
My point is I’m tired of snow/rain/sleet. I might also be a little crabby (Discretion again) because I had to go to the dump today (Yes, we live so far out in the middle of nowhere that we have to take our own trash to the dump) and it rain/snowed/sleeted on me as I unloaded the truck. I got soaked and I blame that on that big squirrel up there in Pennsylvania. I would have never gone if I had known that spring was going to be so late. Did I just say that? Wow, that sounded so stupid, but I didn’t hear it from a big ground squirrel. Anyway…Rain, snow and cold here.
Hey, have a good week! Dell Sweet.
Hey, before you go, check out this book…